The Spirit of Christmas
by AllyBallyBee
Summary: Just a little scene between Cal and Gillian.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Set during the Christmas party. Just a little scene between Cal and Gillian.

***

"_Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..."_

She closed her eyes, suddenly forgetting that she had been in the middle of a conversation with...whomever, right now, all she could think about was cinnamon and bells and the pine-y smell of a Christmas tree and her mum telling her that Santa would be here soon. Shutting out the surrounding chatter, she could almost..._almost_...hear the sound of her dad's voice reading her the story of 'Twas a Night Before Christmas'. She wondered if she still knew it off by heart.

Gillian had always loved Christmas. It was the one time of the year that she had experienced true happiness, everything always seemed to be okay on that one day, on that one night when she had waited in bewildered excitement for the man to come out of the sky in a sleigh...with eight tiny reindeer.

Her excitement at Christmas had become a source of amusement for her friends in school, in college, an almost imperceptible annoyance. She could never understand how they hadn't shared in her awe of the magical nature of the holiday, how they hadn't wanted to understand her continued belief in the existence of Santa. She wasn't crazy, it was just that the idea that one person could provide so much happiness had always melted her heart.

The corner of her mouth lifted in amusement at the memory of her friend's faces when she had dutifully and with childish excitement given each of them a card on the 1st day of December, making each of them promise that they would display her card prominently within their rooms.

Even now, closing the gap on her mid-forties, she still experienced a bubble of excitement at the thought of waking up on Christmas morning to the anticipation of the presents that would hopefully be sitting under her tree.

Her first Christmas as a newly-divorced woman and she had done everything within her power to ensure that she would experience that same sense of wonderment that she had experienced as a child. Others would think she was crazy; she knew that she was only trying to survive.

Looking around, she realised that Cal was missing from the slowly diminishing crowd of their work colleagues. Moving slowly away from the small group that she had been talking to, Gillian made her way towards Cal's office. As she walked, she passed Emily and the boy who, by all means, seemed to be her boyfriend. Deep in conversation, she saw the natural way in which they had leant towards each other, a subtle movement but one which Gillian knew already signalled some small form of intimacy. She envied the young girl, it had been a long time since she had felt the first tendrils of blushing excitement at the beginning of a new relationship.

Passing the young couple, she turned down the corridor that led to Cal's office. Holding onto the doorframe for support, she slowly turned into the room, allowing her eyes to readjust to the dim light so that she could seek out shapes. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she saw, out of the corner of her eye, Cal sitting in his chair, his back to her. She moved quietly into the room, aware that in all likelihood he had fallen asleep. It had been a long couple of days for him...for them all...for her.

As she approached the chair, he moved suddenly, stretching his arms above his head in a stretch.

"Hey Cal..." she rounded the chair, crouching down, coming face to face with him.

"Foster...you nearly scared me to death, love" he said as he straightened his position on his chair, leaning forward to place his elbows on his knees. "Why aren't you out there? I know how much you love these Christmas things"

"Parties Cal, they're called parties" she smirked in amusement. He had never been one for big gatherings of people, even though she knew he enjoyed every opportunity to study those around him. He had always been a contradiction in terms. Tough boy; loving father, wild youth; spirited but devoted man.

"Yeh...so, why'd you leave? Apart from Emily, I've never seen anyone's eyes light up as much as yours when you see a Christmas tree adorned with decorations. Actually, maybe that's just the eggnog..." although the humour was evident in his voice, Gillian could see the tiredness in his eyes, in the way in which the skin surrounding them was pulled taut. He looked exhausted.

"Long couple of days. You must be tired. Want me to drive you and Emily home?"

Expecting a short reply, a quick dismissal as she so often received when she tried to "smother" him, she was taken aback when he reached his hand and gently cupped her cheek. Her quick intake of breath and the way in which she subtly turned her face towards his palm was not missed by Cal. Rubbing his thumb along the line of her jaw, he carefully lifted her face so that her eyes, which had turned downwards, were forced to seek his own.

"Missed you, love."

"Missed you too" she whispered, not able to take the sudden flash of intimacy out of her voice. She knew that if she had tried to speak above a whisper in that moment then her voice would have cracked and she would have been lost to the tears that she had so carefully held at bay these past few days.

As he continued to rub his thumb along her cheek, he slowly stood, bringing his other hand to her own, supporting her as he pulled her to stand in front of him. As she stood, he placed his hand in the curve of her back whilst moving his other hand from her cheek to her hand. Slowly he pulled her into his embrace, bringing her hand to his chest and began to move in a deliberate yet flowing dance.

She began to move with him, bringing her head to his shoulder. As they became more comfortable in their impromptu movements, she turned to place her lips gently against his neck, breathing in the deep and masculine scent of Cal Lightman. As she did so, she felt his hand move further down her back, pulling her ever closer.

As she lifted her head once more from his shoulder, she felt his lips move towards her ear as she heard him whisper, "Merry Christmas, Foster".

She looked over his shoulder towards the star-filled sky, relishing a moment that she knew would be far too fleeting and far from complete. Yet, she also knew that _this_ was why she loved Christmas. It wasn't so much the presents or the trinkets (although she loved them almost as much), it was the magic, the over-flowing happiness, the chance to be with those you love no matter how fleeting. And it was the chance to be held by Cal Lightman because maybe, through the past couple of days of tense fear and the realisation that he had people to come back to this time, the warmth and the enchantment of this time of year had helped him survive as well.

At least that's what she wanted to believe. And she knew that, for this one moment, he had given her the chance to re-live the spirit of Christmas.

***


	2. Chapter 2

He had let her drive him home; Emily had decided to continue the festivities with her new boyfriend: a fact that had equally irked Cal as it had amused Gillian. As they had walked together out of the door, she had thought, and not for the first time, _"To be young and in love..."_

She had dropped him off and had tried, with every inch of her self-restraint, not to ask him if she could come in for a little while. She hadn't wanted to give up the warmth with which he had subtly encompassed her heart; she was equally reluctant to go to a home that held as much for her as a night, alone, watching the sparkling lights on her tree transform into a symbol of loneliness.

As she gripped the steering wheel, her fingers turning a whiter shade of pale as her grip tightened, she reluctantly pulled away from the curb.

Finally turning into her driveway, she switched the engine off and sat, idly wondering if it really would have changed everything if she had followed him inside. She doubted it, they had surpassed too many moments when their eyes had said far more than their mouths and they had almost crossed the mutually imposed boundary. Tonight was a case in point. A second more in his arms and she would have never left but he, being the one of reason and logic, had pulled back, brushing her cheek one last time with the pad of his thumb before reaching for his coat and, by all means and purposes, shutting down anything further.

Reaching for her bag, she emerged into the frosty air, shivering slightly at the blast of wind. Entering her hall, she sighed loudly, her shoulders sagging with the weight of tension she had been carrying around these past few days. She removed her coat, hanging it unseeingly on the coat-stand, making her way towards the glass of wine that had been calling to her all day.

As she moved towards the kitchen, she heard a knock at the door, soft yet assertive and knew instinctively that he was standing on the other side. She tried, yet dismally failed, to quell the sudden fluttering in her stomach. _It's only Cal! _She paused, hoping that the blush in her cheeks would only be representative of the chill in the night air. Although she knew that she would be powerless to hide the other signs of her eager happiness at his presence.

Slowly unlocking the door, her fingers trembling slightly, she wrapped a protective arm across her chest wishing to hide as much as she could from his perceptive gaze.

"Hey love"

"Hey"

"Would you mind if I come in? Thought you could do with the company"

Every instinct within her knew that her need for company was far from what had brought him to her door; he may be the detection expert but she was far from ignorant of the subtle expressions of the human soul. Yet, she chose to ignore his life, not wishing to call him on his reasoning; it was enough that he was here, the sight of him already re-lighting the flame that had been sparked earlier in his office.

She stepped back, far enough that he could move into her home but not far enough that his arm didn't briefly brush against her thigh. She hoped she was still breathing but she didn't know anymore, she was too focused on not reaching towards him and seeking the solace of his embrace.

"I was just about to get a glass on wine, would you like one?"

"I might fall asleep in the middle of drinking it but go ahead, it won't kill me"

***

There had been small talk, going over the events of the past couple of days, Emily's reaction to the location of her father, the air bombardment; there had been silences where the crackling of the lit fire was the only noise, each of them slowly making their way to the bottom of a bottle of wine; there had been moments when he had reached towards the table or the back of the couch and his fingers had lightly traced patterns on her arm or her leg, each stroke creating ripples within her chest.

She had always been amazed at the comfort that she had felt in his company, it had been that way since their first meeting. She didn't think there was anyone else that the comfort had come this easily.

Close to the bottom of the bottle and she noticed Cal's eyes beginning to show the signs of his tiredness.

"Cal..." she said, a little above a whisper, "why don't you just stay here tonight? I've got the extra set of bed clothes that we can throw onto the couch. There's no point in you going home, you're close enough to being asleep as you are now"

He looked up at her then, his slouched position on the couch causing him to be significantly lower than her eye line. "I think that might be a plan."

She made to move, putting her glass on the table and pushing her arms on the couch to gain leverage in her movement. And then he grabbed her wrist, brushing his thumb against her pulse, making her breath stick in her throat.

"Gill...I meant what I said earlier, I really did miss you"

"I know, Cal, I missed you too. I didn't have anybody to shout at these past few days" she smirked, hoping the humour carried in her gaze.

"I...I didn't come over here tonight to keep you company, I know you don't need anybody to make you feel better, you've been doing it long enough yourself without needing anyone...especially me" he pulled her wrist up to his mouth, placing his lips gently against her skin. "I just needed you to know that you mean a lot to me, love. You may not need me but I bloody need you" he made a noise that sounded like a laugh but Gillian could see the tears in his eyes, read the sincerity in them.

"C'mere" she held out her arms, waiting for him to enter her embrace. Yet, he hesitated and she realised that for Cal, declaring any kind of weakness must have taken him a lot. It wasn't often that he admitted his reliance on another. So she moved towards him, placing her arms gently around his shoulders and then firmly grasping his jumper in her grip, wishing to close as much of the distance between them as she could.

Turning her head towards his neck, she once again, as she had earlier in the evening, placed her lips against the soft skin next to his ear, seeking comfort in his warmth.

He made to pull back and, in her hesitancy to lose his hold, unconsciously made a noise of protest. But when he reached for her cheeks, looking into her eyes in a way that mirrored all that he had never said, she realised that instead of moving away from her, he was carefully toe-ing the boundary that had long existed between them.

And then, his lips were on hers and it took her a couple of seconds to realise that she should be responding in some way. But this was Cal Lightman and they were sitting in her living room, only a second before doing things that friends do. This was far from friendship.

But she didn't care, his lips were too soft for her to analyse what this meant, too soft for her to even care anymore. So she opened her mouth further, allowing his tongue access. She returned everything he gave in kind, making a memory of the moment as it happened; she didn't want to forget one thing about Cal kissing her. She had thought about it too often to let it pass her by.

And then he pulled her further into his lap and coherent thought became a thing of the past; a thing for mere mortals to worry over. All she could focus on was him, the way he tasted and the way he felt against her chest. And, in that moment, that was all she wished to care about.

***


End file.
